Let's rewind to seven and a half years ago... young love resulting in us finding out we were expecting. You remember the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song you sung as a child; first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in a baby carriage. We're taught about tradition as young kids. Well, K and I didn't take the traditional route. We were young, and as much as I hate admitting this, Kaylee wasn't planned. Do we love her any different? Absolutely NOT. She's our world, and the most important thing in each of our lives.
With that said, I've always wanted more than one child, four to be exact. After having Kaylee, I thought to myself, I don't know if I can do this three more times. What was I thinking wanting four children? One is a lot of work, and kids definitely aren't cheap. How could I give four the attention needed? If we're being honest, Kaylee is now six years old... Do I really want to start this whole baby process over again? Needless to say, K and I have been pretty set on Kaylee being an only child.
Kaylee has asked plenty of times for a little brother or sister, and then it turned in to a brother and sister. This talk begun around four years old when she started school... so we bought her a puppy. This ceased the baby talk for a good 8 months, then she slowly eased back in to asking again. This time she only wanted a brother. Explaining to a five year old that you don't get to choose what you have was quite the experience; very entertaining that conversation was. Around that fifth year, she somehow managed to get her Dad on board with this whole baby situation. I just wasn't ready; financially, mentally, and emotionally. I couldn't take away from Kaylee, and not give all of my attention to her, solely. She's my baby.
Last summer while driving home from the grocery store, Kaylee and I were talking about Jesus, and she said, "Momma you know what I'm going to do tonight?" "What's that?', I say. "I'm going to pray to Jesus and ask him to please, please give me a brother or sister." What do you even say back to that? I can't tell her not to pray, or go against what she's asking of Jesus. I can't deny that request. That's when I really started thinking about the possibility of another baby. I don't want her to be alone in this world. When K and I grow old and gray, she won't have any brother or sisters to lean on, it will just be her, alone. I don't want that.
With the possibility of planning for another child, I had to share the plans with my family. All were excited, and thought it was a great idea. Everyone but my Daddy. He told me that Kaylee is too old for a sibling, that they wouldn't be close, it was too late for us to have another baby. So, I then, started thinking we waited too long, and she was in deed too old. I spoke with a few co-workers about this, along with friends, and they completely disagreed. It's all about how you raise your children to be close to one another. A friend of mine is very close to her siblings, and there's an eight year gap between them. Hope. After these conversations, hope had been restored.
We were back on the baby subject, weighing our options, the point we were in our lives, and if we should try or not. Then, K proposed. FINALLY. Now our time and money is going to planning our wedding, on top of Kaylee, and her extracurricular activities. So, another year is being pushed back on the baby talk. A year longer. This is where I'm remembering my Daddy's words; Kaylee being too old for a sibling. It keeps playing in my mind.
K and I talked over the weekend, and the topic of another baby made its way into the conversation. We brought Kaylee in to talk it over with us, and as a family of three, we decided that we ARE going to try for baby number two after the wedding! Kaylee will be seven when K and I get married, so there will be about an eight year difference between the two. She will be old enough to help out with the baby, and able to understand that the baby will need attention the same as her.
I asked her why she wanted a little brother or sister so badly, and her response was, "So that I can help feed him, change his diaper, and have someone to play with." Melt. My. Heart! How could I ever say no to that?
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