If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away...

Have You a dog in Heaven, Lord?
Is there room for just one more?
Cause our little dog died today;
He'll be waiting at Your door.
Please take him into Heaven, Lord.
And keep him there for us.
Just feed him, pet him, love him, Lord.
That's all he'll ask of Thee.

 

Today is such a heartbreakingly depressed day in the Turner home. Our morning started out tragic, as we heard a knock on our door. It was my Mom telling me there had been an accident. I assumed a car accident or something. Not prepared at all for the words that would follow the "accident" statement. Gizmo has been hit. Gizmo? NO! No. No, No!

 

I walked outside in a fog, not fully coherent and grasping the situation. That is, until I saw his little fluffy body lying by our mailbox on the side of the road. Someone had hit him. Intentionally swerved at him standing in our driveway, and succeeded in hitting him. How could someone be so cruel? What a heartless human being! How could you just swerve and hit a little girl's dog? Her very best friend for the past four years. Our family pet. Gone in the blink of an eye due to the maliciousness of an individual.

 

I've never been much of an animal lover. We really didn't have animals around the house when I grew up. Gizmo drove me crazy at times, but I loved and still love him. This has hit me much harder than I could have ever imagined possible. I've cried most of the day, and it's only 11:00am. My heart is broken. Crushed. Shattered in a million pieces. I can't believe he's gone. Just like that. I'm going to miss playing fetch, his furry little self, running up the driveway to greet me when I get home from work, treat time at night following dinner, my jogging partner, but most of all the joy, laughter and love he's brought to our family. His family. 

 

A few years ago, Kaylee started asking heavily for a baby brother. At the time, K and I weren't ready, and had really decided on her being an only child. So, in hopes of putting an end to the baby talk, we did what any smart parent would do, of course, we bought her a puppy! I remember the day I brought him home for K and I to surprise her with. He cried and yelped the entire hour ride home. I seriously debated on turning around and taking him back. What were we getting ourselves into? The closer we got to home, I took him out of his crate and he laid in my lap, perfectly calm, no whining, the rest of the ride home. He was so loving from the very beginning. Kaylee was so surprised when we brought him inside. She called him her brother. He was family now. It worked for us. We ceased the baby talk; she now had a little brother. It was the sweetest thing ever! I can remember it as if it were yesterday. She was attached to him, the two done everything together. He's her best friend. Her little brother.

 

I don't know how we're going to break the news to Kaylee. My first thought this morning, was her. What do we say? How do we tell her? She's going to be devastated. Absolutely crushed. How will she handle heartbreak at such a young age? This is going to be one of the hardest things to do, but she has to be told. K and I will be there for her to cry on our shoulders, hold us tight, and answer the why's as best we can. My heart breaks for her more than anything. I yearn to take away her pain, to put it all on myself so she doesn't have to feel an ounce of sadness.

 

K and I didn't tell Kaylee this morning because we didn't want her going to school sad and upset the entire day. The plan is to tell her tonight, let her choose a spot, and we will bury him, saying our goodbyes as a family.

 

Gizmo (Mo),

I'm so sorry that this has happened. I wish I could have been there to pull you away from the road. From getting hit by that asshole. I don't know what we're going to do without you. It's going to be tough moving on without you. Just know that we will never fully move on, and that's absolutely okay. You were a very big part of our lives; part of our family for years. I just want you to know that we loved you so very much! You made an impact on this family; brought so much joy and happiness to our lives. You will always be in our thoughts and prayers. I'm truly sorry that your life ended so short and abruptly. I hope there was no suffering before you went to Heaven. Jesus has bigger plans for your life, and needed you home with him. We understand that, but it doesn't take away the pain, the sadness, and the love we have for you. We're going to miss the hell out of you buddy. Watch over us, and have fun in Heaven until we're together again. We will see you soon.

 

RIP Angel. We love you to the moon and back!    

 

I loved capturing this moment - She loves him so